July marks the beginning of the month-long ‘Talk To Us’ campaign by the Samaritans. The focus is on raising all-important awareness around the services they offer and how talking to them can help.
In light of this we are looking at ways in which you can start and navigate a difficult conversation or how you can ask for help.
If the thought of asking for help makes you shudder to the very core but you know it is the right thing to do and what you ultimately need right now – there are ways to tackle this without going too far out of your comfort zone.
Reframe your worries
Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen suggests we could reframe our thoughts when asking for help. For example, if you are worried that you are going to be a burdon you could look at it like this: humans are almost hardwired to feel good when we are being altruistic – it is in our nature to want to help. If your friend asked you for help, you’d likely feel trusted and important – know that they are probably feeling the same.
If you are worried that you have lost control of an issue or problem you can again try to reframe the way you look at it. Remove the control from the problem by calling it ‘it’ or ‘the’. It can be viewed as a separate entity from yourself and you and your friend, relative or partner can team up together to deal with the ‘thing’.
Planning is key
We feel less anxious when we are prepared so rather than heading into the conversation and just winging it (which is still ok to do), you might feel more comfortable having some idea of what you want to say.
Try making a list of the most important parts of the conversation you want to get across, what you would like help with and how you’d like to get that help.
Stay positive
You are taking the first step towards making things better for yourself – often this step is the hardest. Make sure you remind yourself of this and remember that once you have opened up the dialogue, you are likely to feel a tremendous sense of relief that you have got the ball rolling and someone is with you on this journey.
The opening line
If you can’t face opening the conversation with “I need to talk” or “I need help”, there are many alternatives that you might prefer. “I have been thinking about….”, “This is something that is worrying me, because of….” Some of these sentence starters might make you feel more eased into the conversation and as you feel more comfortable you can elaborate.
If you feel that you need someone to talk to but not sure who – remember that the Samaritans will always help, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
If you are worried about someone and want to help them to open up, the Samaritans offer lots of advice.
To learn more about our professional corporate massage and wellbeing services, get in touch via our team address: hello@moaningcow.co.uk or call 020 7129 7310.
Photo by Unsplash.